I could be dead right now

If it weren’t for God’s mercy and modern medicine, I would probably be dead right now. My immune system is like a two foot tall chain link fence. It kind of taunts the bacteria, but they know that they can easily get in. So a lot of my time has been spent being sick. When I was three or four, I even contracted salmonella in Thailand, and was lucky to get back to the states in time for treatment.

I can’t say I’ve had real near death experiences, but I can say that under modified circumstances, I could have died a long time ago. Is that a clear distinction?

God could have gotten rid of me anytime He wanted. He can snap his fingers and my horrible driving or my inefficient immune system could do away with me, among countless other possibilities. Am I being too morbid here?

My life is supported by a thin thread, really. Though I often feel bored and sulky while insulated in artificial, superficial layers of protection, skeptical of whether the commonplace things around me are actually extravagant blessings directly from God, it is true that my life is a precious gift. Sometimes, I don’t like to believe it, but it’s just the truth. Are the things that surround me actually good for me or necessary? The answer is that I must be grateful. Is my existence mediocre? Maybe, but through my own fault. Is my living on earth justified? Yes, by God, but only for a limited time! Don’t ever feel like your living isn’t justified. It doesn’t matter what people think of you or what you think about yourself. Don’t waste your time stamping labels on yourself, like I did for so long. Just recognize that you have a chance to live and a chance to hopefully see the truth.

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