Beating through the fog, wrestling with God

As much as I like to think that I trust God and take things a day at a time, the truth is that I love planning more than is good for me. I’ve got to know that I’m doing tomorrow, what I’m eating for breakfast, what I’m going to wear, down to the tee. But forget tomorrow, I like planning much beyond that!

Now is one of those rare times in my life when I not only don’t know definitively where I’ll be in a few weeks, but haven’t decided yet either, and it terrifies me. It’s kind of like when you’re in a car with a bunch of indecisive family members. Should we go to Subway? In and Out? Where do you want to go? And the driver doesn’t know where to turn. And then there’s me in the passenger seat, hoping we don’t crash.

Of course, the family will eat, and I will be okay, God willing. In reality, I’m being petty. This will sort itself out. While now I worry about how I will get to school, if I will have any friends, what I will be able to do, I know that it’s stupid to worry about such things. But why won’t anyone listen to me, I wonder now, or at least give me a color coded schedule so I’ll know what to expect.

Be still and know that I am God.

But I need to research this, and consider this, and agonize over this, and stress about that.

Be still and know that I am God.

Give me a second.




2 comments on “Beating through the fog, wrestling with God

  1. I was up all night worrying about my current state of unemployment. I didn’t fall asleep until after 5 a.m.. I was awakened at 9 with a phone call. A job offer. Praise God.

    I pray your path becomes clear, though if it is like mine you may only see far enough to take the next step.

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