What I want to know, after years of being Christian, is why faith is so unnatural at times. To be fair, faith is natural in times of distress and for the purpose of justifying our existences as a whole. But when it comes to day-today interactions, why is it so awkward? Why do we gravitiate towards selfishness, deception, indifference?
Just now I was at a small group meeting. Mind you, the purpose of this post is not to criticize these people, but rather human nature as a whole absolutely absolutely absolutely including myself as well. There was a puppy there, and this puppy got all of the attention. Truly, it was impossible to focus longer than a minute on anything but this puppy. And it was easy to talk about the puppy. It was pretty cute, okay, it was a little husky. We fell into that usual conversational banter. But then, we started talking at our faith. Somehow, that was much harder for the most part. We got something in the way of discussion, most of the contributions made by two of us, but it wasn’t nearly as easy as just talking about the puppy. I felt awkward being vulnerable and trying to really get down into it, asking hard questions. But I felt that it needed to be done. But why, why is it so hard? Understandably, I am not the best socially, I flounder in all kinds of situations… But why was it hard even for those other people, clearly more social, to talk about something more important than a puppy. (And yes, some things are more important than puppies, it just doesn’t seen that way when a puppy is around).
I don’t know. I don’t know. I want to believe in humanity sometimes, but believing in humanity is like worshipping a statue. So maybe rely on God to make something out of the whole bunch of us instead of relying on us all to make something of ourselves?