Sometimes I Feel Like A Chained Dog

Why God, do you daily instill in me a love of the higher pursuits, and yet deprive me of the means to attain them?

Oh that I could know your will for me and accomplish it!

Why can’t I be free God? Tell me now, what’s wrong with me?

Why, continually, must I howl at a bright moon that I cannot touch?

Why am I only allowed to bark and growl from my safe dog house, why can I run in pursuit of the enemy only until the chain tightens up?

Is death the only release from this condition? Or will it be a number of years? How many years? Get me out right now! But no, not too soon, I pity my captor…

And what if I do become free? What then? Will it spoil me? Will I take it for granted and carry out my own will? Will the flame of righteousness that occasionally lights my soul be extinguished forever? Is longing the only thing that binds me to You?

The things of this life bring me so little joy sometimes. If only I could taste the cool waters of Your mercy or the hearty bread of Your being! If only I could catch just a glimpse of you! When will I finally enter Your presence?

But until then, the Peace of my soul, the pearl of my treasure chest, the captor of my heart, let me yearn for you humbly. Lord, let me be Your servant, Your handmaiden, Your bride. 

Until I see you in paradise, let me sigh after you and dream about you (if I can’t hold you tonight, sorry I thought of that song, I hope this isn’t some kind of copyright infringement). 

Let me continue to howl at the milky moon that You created, and bark at Satan until my voice grows hoarse. And let me know, deep down in my heart, that unlike all my other vain dreams, this one will be even more glorious in reality than in imagination. 

 

 

 

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