R: So, ever considered being happy?
M: Happy? What for?
Nah, just kidding. Of course I’ve considered it, I think about it every day.
Then why don’t you do it?
Well, it’s more complicated than that. I mean sure, happy sounds good, you know, sort of by way of definition… but I don’t know if it works for everyone. And you can’t just flip a switch and it happens.
That is true. But I guess a good start would be to stop being miserable.
Yeah, I could, but…
There are pluses and minuses to both. I mean, to be happy means putting in a lot of work. And for what, just so something can come in and tear it down?
Right, but isn’t it still worth it? Wouldn’t a threat to your happiness just make it all the more valuable and desirable?
No, not really. And there’s another thing- happy just isn’t me. If I start being happy now, that’ll be like proving that I was wrong earlier. It’s much easier to leave things the way they are.
So this is about your ego? You’re just afraid of being wrong?
I wouldn’t say that.
So you don’t get a little ego boost from being miserable and misunderstood, in your own sick kind of way, if I may say so?
No. And you’re not even addressing the main point. I have no reason to be happy. Nothing to look forward to. Nothing.
Why don’t you have a reason? Who does have a reason?
Some people do, yes, I would say so. People who have x,y, and z
But don’t you have a,b, and c?
Yes, but you see, that’s just not nearly as wonderful and satisfying as x,y, and z.
Why can’t you be happy with a,b, and c?
Well, I told you, I don’t have x,y, and z.
Could you be happy for those people?
I don’t see how that’s possible.
You could try.
Why should I? Why do they even have it? Life isn’t fair. They don’t even deserve it.
And you do? Why? What good have you ever done?
Is that really so good?
No, I guess not.
Okay, then why don’t they deserve it?
Aren’t you too?
Haven’t you committed all the same sins as everyone else, and more?
But you deserve it, and they don’t? It’s bad that they have it, but good when you have it, because somehow you deserve it?
Stop asking leading questions.
I’m just trying to understand. What makes them worse?
I don’t know. It’s just different when they do bad stuff.
It’s just different when they do bad stuff. That sounds stupid.
I know it does, but what choice do I have?
Let me ask you something- aren’t you Christian?
Don’t you believe that the sole purpose of our being on earth is to worship God?
Yes, that’s a nice way of putting it.
Thank you. So why don’t you do that?
I don’t know. I’d kind of like to. Sometimes it seems like a really good idea. But I just can’t. There’s too many hours in the day.
But you believe it?
Oh, with all my heart and soul!
Oh, look, I have to go soon. I’m supposed to write this depressing poem in like five minutes.
Right, okay. Well, I’m glad we could do this.
Yeah, yeah, it was great, we’ll have to do it again.
Well, have a nice day.