Hello Lovely Readers,
You probably didn’t notice that I stopped posting for a while, but I will pretend that you did notice and give you a little glimpse into my life and state of mind as if you cared in the first place, okay?
I don’t really know where to begin. The depression comes and goes. Sometimes I’m so wrapped up in work that I forget. Sometimes I’m so wrapped up in work that I forget God. Sometimes I’m convinced that I can’t possibly be a child of God and I’ve only been fooling myself all along. Sometimes the Bible seems comforting. Sometimes I believe Satan’s lie that it is causing my problems, although I know that it is not the cause of my problems. My mental illness began when I was 8, before I accepted Jesus. I just don’t understand this insidious resurgence, especially after all I’ve been through spiritually- but then again there are many things I don’t understand. In fact, that’s one thing I’ve learned over the years. The more I’ve seen, the more I realize that I don’t know much of anything. At my best, I acknowledge that I am but one ignorant female on this planet. Sure, I see things a certain way and I see God in a certain way, but that doesn’t add or take away from who He really is. Does it?
There’s not a whole lot to say at the moment. Many things have already been said. When I am “cultivating my garden,” literally, life does seem pretty tranquil. Funny, I used to hate gardening, and now it has become part of my life. There’s just something about sunshine and things growing that makes you feel better.
Oh, and I’ve been enjoying doing laundry lately, which is weird, I know. Cooking is also fun, but washing dishes is not my cup of tea.
And now feminists are going to come to tar and feather me. I understand their frustration, but at the same time, I would like to do my thing for a little while, if that’s okay. Maybe my next term at university will be better and I won’t feel the need to be so domestic. I don’t know, we’ll see.
Until my next boring post…